POISON IVY IN THE DEAD OF WINTER?

Living in the woods, I've experienced poison ivy more than I care to.  Every summer I'm careful to make sure I don't brush up against that dreaded plant with its evil oils.  But it doesn't matter how careful I am, I ALWAYS end up with the danged little blisters every year.

The first year I moved here, I didn't know I had it on my hands and then rubbed my eyes.  You guess it, both eyes swelled shut.  Talk about pure misery.  If it gets into the blood stream, then you're really in trouble.  You'll break out in areas where you know for certain never touched poison ivy.  Besides the eyes, the worst place is the webbing between the toes.  If the military ever looked for a torture technique, that would be perfect.  But I suppose torture by poison ivy is less sexy than water-boarding.

Years ago, a young woman moved in down the road who wanted to live off the land.  She kept infecting herself with poison ivy while trying to find ginseng.  I decided to help her find the herb.  As we walked through the woods, she kept pulling up poison ivy plants along the way and asked, "Is this ginseng?"  We didn't find ginseng that day.  By the time all was said and done, she ended up in the emergency room getting a steroid shot.  

So back to my original title, how in the heck did I get poison ivy in the middle of the winter?  Can you believe from my firewood?  I must have brushed my arm against a dead shriveled vine as I shoved a log into the wood stove.  Talk about the gift that keeps on giving.  I would write more but I need to scratch right now.

Take care, All

This is not American Idol, and you are not Simon Cowell

Yesterday, when I went into town to do some shopping, we stopped by McDonalds to grab some lunch, using the McDonald’s card someone gave us for Christmas—it’s a very useful gift and we love it.  We supposedly have a storm coming in and we wanted to make sure we were completely covered in the supply department.  I don’t mind being snowed or iced in, but I’d like to do it with milk, eggs and gasoline for the generator-thank you very much. 

Anyway, there I was at McDonalds eating my chicken sandwich wrapped in lettuce with the television blaring in the background.  Since I don’t have regular TV at home, and only watch internet programs, I found my attention gravitating toward it.  A news program was on and we were watching a “live” police chase in Houston of a suspected bank robber.  As we watched the chase, Robert looks at me and says, “you realize we can’t leave now until we see the ending of this.”  I agreed.  So, there we sat our attention glued to the screen as the guy drove on the interstate, through back streets, his back right tire blown out.  I had to admire his tenacity.  He knew he was being chased by dozens of police cars, yet he just kept going.  I had to wonder, did he really plan this out?  Seriously, who chooses a mini-van as their getaway car?  What drove him to do this?  All these things were knocking around in my skull.  Then he finally pulled over, opened the car door and ran, still being chased by police cars and even one police officer on foot.  After he’d given up, even though he was one man laying face down on the ground surrounded by officers, some police men were still bolting toward the scene as if he may still be a threat.  One of our men in blue tripped on the curb and twisted his ankle.  I heard a collective groan from the people at McDonalds who were all watching this unfold.  “That’s gotta hurt,” I heard someone say. 

Then I thought, “this has got to be the best reality television show yet.”  It wasn’t baked up by some producer for optimum shock value, the reality stars weren’t vetted out with auditions, this was real-time television.  Another thought came across my mind.  This was actually entertainment for us?  Some guy, probably down on his luck robs a bank and we as Americans are sitting around critiquing his car chase and the police who chased him?  We as a society are now in a position to sit around and judge the actions of each other?  I thought about how I play the piano or organ at church and how many times people have commented on my abilities or inabilities, whether I played something well or not, as though I was a contestant on American Idol and they were Simon Cowell.  I have to admit that my first reaction isn’t to quietly take their criticism or critique in a good way and thank them for their opinion; my first thought is to tell them they are welcome to play the piano their damned selves.  This is the society of American Idol.  This is the society where we sit around and judge each others ability to perform and feel completely justified in doing so.  I’m not sure this American Idol society, coupled by reality television we’ve created is positive for humanity or advances our creativity.

Take care, All and remember to keep it real.

My Closet and Other Catastrophes

It’s a new year and with it come resolutions. One of my major resolutions this year is to turn my chaotic life into streamlined version of “simple living.” It’s hard to feel creative when I’m surrounded by clutter and of course it’s hard to clean around all those piles of junk. Step 1-start with the closet. I donned my Haz-Mat suit and went to work. I pawed through the piles and piles of shoes. In fact, if how many shoes a person owned equaled their wealth, I would probably be one of the richest women in North America. I have old shoes I just can’t bring myself to throw away, shoes I wear on special occasions, new shoes with the tags still on them and favorite shoes-that when I found out I liked them enough, I bought 2 pairs just to make sure I would have them if the old pair wore out. Now I found that this resolution is harder to keep than I originally thought, because now I’ve discovered I’m a shoe hoarder. Some people collect baseball cards–I collect shoes. New resolution–streamline my shoe collection. This simple living concept may be harder than I thought. Maybe I should hire a heartless consultant to come in and help me out or go to a hypnotist to tell me I only need 7 pairs of shoes and to make my choice wisely. Either way something has to be done.

On another note–I started writing my next book on the “off-grid lifestyle.” It’s taken up most of my week. I’m hoping that those who are interested in the off-grid lifestyle will find my book helpful and I’m hoping to be able to hit upon some insights that others haven’t suggested. If anyone has any questions that they’d like to have answered, feel free to leave me a note and I’ll try to include it in my book. I’m planning to include a man, as well as a woman’s perspective to off-grid living. My hopes are to have this book done by March or sooner–so wish me luck.

Well, take care All, and good luck with your New Year’s resolutions.

P.S. “Unplugged” is doing well on amazon. Many thanks to those who’ve left me reviews and encouragement. You’re the best!!!